I will not vote for your candidate in the General Election

There.  I said it.

I will not vote for your candidate in the general election.  No matter what.  I hate each and every one of them, in their own special way, and I wanted to share.  Feel free to troll rate my tip jar, but just know that it'll make me hate your candidate even more.

My reasoning:

Let's be honest, shall we?  Reason has very little to do with why I hate your candidate.  I hate your candidate in a deep, almost visceral way.  They  are not the change the American people are crying out for.  Or maybe they are, but they're just too inexperienced to do the job.  Or they're just completely unelectable.  Or (my favorite) they AREN'T EVEN FUCKING RUNNING!

Seriously why do you people bother?  The only thing that I've been convinced of is that our candidates all suck, can't get elected, and simply aren't pure enough to properly address the TRUE PROGRESSIVE AGENDA.

Since we can't win, I won't waste my vote on any Dem.  So, I've decided that the only safe options are to stay home, or vote Republican.  I mean, if I'm gonna be a collaborator, I might as well go whole hog, no?

So there you have it.  Your candidate is an evil, kitten killing, unelectable moran, and they are destroying the Democratic brand name.

Or something.