(....as opposed to Lonesome Dove)
Donald Rumsfeld, Karl Rove, Harriet Miers, Andrew Card, Alberto Gonzales, and now Tony Snow.  They have all left or are leaving. Poor Chimpy!

Original DVD cover.

To the tune of Hey There, Lonely Girl written originally by Written by Earl Shuman & Leon Carr as Hey There, Lonely Boy, performed by Eddie Holman:

(uhoh, gotta follow me below the fold for the song!)

A recent diary asked:
Why Should you Go to DC on 9/15?
The diarist (pssst, it was really jlynne, but I didn't tell you!!) stated her reasons:

I am going to DC to protest the War in Iraq because I am convinced that if we do not purposely, consciously and willfully end the War, we will lose, not only the War, but the grail as well. We will lose the very thing that defines us as a Nation capable of waging war in the first instance.
...
Rigged elections, torture and rendition, warrantless spying, the Unitary Executive, suspension of habeas corpus, signing statements, the SPP, the Iraqi Oil Law, lost arms shipments, increased heroin production, war profiteering, the national debt, the invasion and utter destruction of a sovereign nation, the deaths of over half a million civilians and 3,723 American soldiers, the shredding of the U.S. Constitution . . . . four million Iraqis have been displaced from their homes - nearly 20% of the total population of Iraq. Twenty percent.

Well, yeah, there's that.

From CNN International:

An emotional Karl Rove characterized his tenure in the White House as a "witness to history" as he announced his resignation as President Bush's senior political adviser at the end of this month.
...snip...
"It seems the right time to start thinking about the next  chapter in our family's life," Rove said, his voice breaking. "It's not been an easy decision."

Original DVD cover.
Maybe some people buy that story about wanting to spend more time with the family, but I say
                                     

The Philadelphia Phillies made history by losing its 10.000th game Sunday night.  Now, I haven't followed baseball for a while, but, if I remember correctly, 10,000 losses is not a good thing.
The St. Louis Cardinals handed the Phillies the loss (which might be a good thing, because I hear that this past week was not a very good one for cardinals!).

The franchise began in 1883 as the Philadelphia Quakers.  All of the players left to make oatmeal, and the team changed the name to the Phillies in 1890.  

They became the Blue Jays in 1943, but all of those guys must have moved to Toronto, so they changed the name back to the Phillies in 1945. (note:  All of these facts may not be accurate, because I made them up except for the dates and the names.)

To the tune of Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered Lyrics by Lorenz Hart, music by Richard Rodgers
If you would like to sing along with the wonderful Ella Fitzgerald, you can hear her version of the song here.    (Don't ask me what the video is about.  I have no clue.)

It takes one whole quart of liquor,
For me to get any sleep,
Before I get even sicker,
Get rid of this creep.

Nothing but an impolite louse,
Let's rid DC of his stink,
Since he's living in the White House,
I haven't slept a wink.

Original book cover.

That clever scamp, Jerry Falwell, had us all fooled!  While it was reported that he died at the age of 73, he really just went undercover in, of all places, Poland!!  You forgot Poland, didn't you?  Don't feel bad, everyone does.  Anyway, Ol' Jerry's cover got blown (oops!  Are you allowed to say blown and Jerry's name in the same sentence?) as he continues to fight the Global War on Homosexuality (GWOH).  Check out this item from BBC news:

A senior Polish official has ordered psychologists to investigate whether the popular BBC TV show Teletubbies promotes a homosexual lifestyle.

The spokesperson for children's rights in Poland, Ewa Sowinska, singled out Tinky Winky, the purple character with a triangular aerial on his head.

"I noticed he was carrying a woman's handbag," she told a magazine. "At first, I didn't realise he was a boy."

That never would have happened without Reverend Jerry's influence.  Still not convinced?  Well, some pictures surfaced after Jerry was spotted in Poland this week.  

For those who might have missed it the first time around, MSNBC is re-airing the exciting, inspiring, scintillating Republican presidential snoozefest canonization Ronniepalooza debate tonight.  Okay, I admit I didn't watch the entire thing the other night.  I really, really wanted to, but i have developed some kind of weird gag reflex thing.  Don't worry, though.  I felt fine when I got up the next day!
                                               
The debate was held at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library.  Nancy Reagan was sitting in the front row.  Reagan's Air Force One hovered overhead.  Reagan's name was invoked 19 times during the debate (George W. Bush was only mentioned 6 times, and the candidates spit after each time). Does anyone else sense a trend here?  Was this debate about the presidency and the things that people are concerned about now or a contest to see who could be the most like Ronald Reagan?  

Well, that can only lead to one question........

Original movie poster.

               

Grab your coat and get your hat,
Though someone blew up your doorstep,
Life can be so sweet,
On the Sunni side of the street!

Tomorrow is Oscar Night! Ah, the glamor, the glitter, the pageantry, the boring speeches! It will be a night to remember, at least for one night. Yes, the entertainment channels will have fodder for a week or so--who was the best dressed, the worst dressed, the most undressed? Who was the surprise winner of the evening, who got dissed? Blah, blah, blah... As for the rest of us, it will be merely a diversion for an evening, perhaps a chat around the watercooler the next day. C'mon, who won last year? The year before? Ten years ago? Admit it, you're lucky if you get Oscar Winners for $200 correct when you are watching Jeopardy. After all, it's not about winning or losing. It's a thrill and an honor just to be nominated!
We in the real world have a name for those who were thrilled and honored to be nominated. We call them losers. I thought we might go back in Oscar history and look at some of the losers honored nominated movies that didn't win.
Meet me on the red carpet under the fold...

Criticism.
There has been much talk around here about the topic. Of course, everyone has been critical of everything that has been said. I thought I would put my two cents in to try to help.
I have read some of what has already been said. The main gist is to make sure your criticism is constructive, that you are polite and respectful, yadda, yadda, yadda. Well, that's a bunch of bullshit.
If you are going to be critical, don't be helpful, don't be respectful, be smart! I hereby offer some tips on being the biggest asshole without having the asshole label pinned to your lapel.

Remember a time in your life when you were immature, footloose and fancy-free, without a care in the world? Yeah, those were the days when you slept really well at night--every night except Christmas Eve!! Bet you couldn't wait to see what awaited you under the Christmas tree!
I hear that was the atmosphere in the White House this morning. CNN reported that George W. Bush rushed out of bed and didn't even change out of his footy pajamas before running to the Christmas tree.
                           

The holiday season is upon us, so let's take a moment, stop, and reflect on what the holidays are really all about--merchandising!!
Here at Nonco, we know that no matter how early you start your holiday shopping, there are always a few presents that you need at the last minute. Nonco offers the perfect gift for everyone on your list!
Shopping for someone who loves to be in the kitchen? No problem! You know any cook would appreciate our new Ravioli Chef, complete with our patented Raviolamp!
                               

Today's my birthday. It's also the first full day of Chanukah (Jewish holidays start at sundown. There, this has now ceased to be a self-serving, self-indulgent bit of tripe since I threw in what might be an informational tidbit to some readers). Since my birthday and Chanukah are on the same day, I will hear all day how each of my presents are really 2 presents in one (note to anyone who knows anyone who has a bday near a holiday--we don't buy that 2 gifts in one bullshit. We know we are getting bilked, so drop the charade). Sorry, I'm a little cranky. It's really not about the gifts.

It's December and time to start thinking about and planning for the holidays. I don't celebrate Christmas, and I am by no means a chef. However, I have seen It's a Wonderful Life at least a dozen times,
                             
and I have watched both seasons of Hell's Kitchen and Top Chef (is it just me or is the new host a little creepy?), so I feel I am super-qualified to plan Christmas dinner at the White House this year.
                         

Recently, President Bush has turned his attention toward funding his very own Presidential Library. How much would the world's concrete and most ironic oxymoron The George W. Bush Library cost? Well, according to Dubya himself, the pricetag would be somewhere around $500 million. No, really. I'm serious. Stop laughing!!

Let's leave it to others to discuss where the library should be located (I vote for Baghdad!), how much it should cost, and whether or not Dubya even deserves a library. Instead, I thought we might look at the preliminary plans and take a peek in the boxes of books that might wind up in the stacks.

Unlike other presidential libraries, it appears that this one will contain only children's books. While Dubya is making great strides in catching up with his reading, even finishing a Camus book
                           
during his reading contest with advisor Karl Rove, I guess they want to make sure that none of the books in the library are above the comprehension level of the establishment's honoree.

Like Heidi Klum says, "One day you're in, the next day, you're out."
                                                         
Unlike Heidi, I like to give farewell presents to those leaving (in fact, it is the only perceptible difference between Heidi and me). It's only polite. I understand that there are quite a few Republicans and their enablers/satellites who have recently joined the umemployment lines. In keeping with one of the booga-booga themes of the recent election, I decided to do my shopping at Borders. Follow me below the fold, and I will give you a peek into my shopping bag. Let me know what you think of my selections, and suggest a few of your own!